Think, · God

you open your eyes
and stare into mine
a stare like yours
is hard to find
it's ultraviolet
you close your eyes
and breathe
i feel your lips
you hit the switch

well you know
that you're on
you're alright
you can lift your head
you won't have to try
when you have control
you defend
when you don't have control
you pretend

-The Thermals, 'A stare like yours"

hello my name is matthew brian trevor, i am 21 years old and currently reside in a pleasant, farmland area of nj called Hunterdon County, which is also called the 'Slice of Life' as featured on the popular town tee shirts accompanied with a delicious looking cartoonish slice of pizza pie. This is because supposedly my county is one of the greatest, cleanest, and prosperous ones in the nation to live in. It is clean, in the right places at least, I give it that. But to borrow a tagline from one of my favorite films, 'American Beauty' look closer. Look at the used condoms and rusty bottles of Rolling Rock half filled with brown river water washed up ashore underneath the local town bridge. Look at the crusty eyed youth slinking around the corner, a dead vacant look in one eye and a gleam the size of Colonial Sander's bloated, fried chicken filled gut that can only mean one thing. He is about to get high somewhere sometime someplace and his life now has a purpose. The community is nearly pitch perfect in the sense that it looks great splashed on state phone books, makes excellent background scenery for the occasional wedding scene in a Hollywood romantic comedy, and merits calenders worth of snapshots that sell briskly at the local Borders. But it lacks perfection in other, probally less important aspects: the youth are bored, the youth are restless. And the youth love getting high.

I have recently left the St. Judes rehab center to the startling realization that all of my friends are in halfway houses and I have no one to shoot the breeze with or talk to. Please talk to me. I crave two way communication and I hate the sensation of being trapped in my own skull.